A Wife's Greatest Enemy

"Just hide your real self, then they will like you." "You really are starting to develop a belly, and you know people ARE looking..." "If you would just make a little more money..." "If I were tiny like her..." "If I had her curves then people would like me." "If I'm the center of attention I will be secure."

I don't know about you, but I battle thoughts like this everyday...and I have to tell you, I am sick of it.

Josh is excellent at making me feel beautiful, but when I start dropping hints for a particular compliment I think I need, he pulls back. Contrary to what I  want him to say, he says "You know, that will never really make you happy." Which in the moment is frustrating, BUT IT'S TRUE. 

What is even more frustrating is when you feel insecure, you are doubting yourself, and by default, doubting God. Oops!

Now I would dare to say the the enemy, satan, has something to do with my personal anguish in this area, but honestly, he doesn't deserve the credit. I am to blame for this one. Some time ago I decided to put my security in something that wouldn't last. Something other than my Savior, Jesus Christ, and now I'm paying for it.

I have begun to notice my insecurity when it comes on. As soon as one of those crazy thoughts cross my mind, I go on the offensive. Straight to my bible. Straight to my worship songs. I heard a woman on the radio say "When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and start swinging." Not that long ago, I was at the end of my rope. I was feeling so insecure that I had to go into the bathroom and pull out my smart phone to search for verses about security. Here is what I turned up:

"He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber" Psalm 121:3 NIV

Thank you Lord that I cannot fail without you. I love you Daddy, I'm so blessed that you love me so much you don't even sleep, you are always there with me, holding my hand.

Psalm 139 ESV  I read this and pray it to Him. 

It has made a tremendous impact. We can conquer our worst enemy. We have completeness in Christ. He will not let us stumble! 

Tear down your false securities in Jesus name. Paul said that he counted all as loss, except for his devotion to Christ. Claim your true security in the only one who will never fail you. Jesus Christ.

Lord, I'm sorry that I believed that anything other than you could secure me. I turn away from that Father. I want to live for you, and not the approval of others or even myself. I will not compare myself to anything but what you say I am in your word. I love you Jesus. Amen

How come it doesn't feel like we're "One Flesh"?

Josh and I were married on November 28, 2009. By far the most awesome day of my earthly life. He is my soulmate. Even in the christian social world the word soulmate seems to be rarely used, but for us, I really believe it's true. God has shown us many times how he has woven our lives together in such amazing ways, He practically pushed us together. (More on that later)

Lately though, a question has arose in both of us. What does it mean to be "one flesh"? Are we supposed to feel something different? I encourage you ladies and gents, give me any input you have on this.

Last night Josh asked me about this and we prayed about it together. After feeling like we were going in circles and feeling sufficiently insecure as a wife, the Lord showed up. Instantly, I knew that my body was meant for my husband. I was created with the intent to be his wife. I really am The Eve who has the missing Rib to my Adam, My Joshua. We are "one" because His word says we are.

"AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh." 
NASB Mark 10:8

You could feel something break in the room. I felt more secure in my physical beauty, Josh felt peaceful and Strong.

Increasingly my Abba Father has been teaching me that my faith is not dependent on my emotions. (Which is hard if you are as much of a waterworks as I am) This is exactly what I need. His word is unwavering and true, and that I can put my trust in.

I feel secure knowing that I am Joshua's Eve, created for him. My Lord called me to be Joshua's wife. We are one because He says we are, and that's the truth.

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." NASB Genesis 2:24

Abba, thank you that you are a good daddy. That you are always teaching us, and that your answer is always simpler than I expect.