A Wife's Greatest Enemy

"Just hide your real self, then they will like you." "You really are starting to develop a belly, and you know people ARE looking..." "If you would just make a little more money..." "If I were tiny like her..." "If I had her curves then people would like me." "If I'm the center of attention I will be secure."

I don't know about you, but I battle thoughts like this everyday...and I have to tell you, I am sick of it.

Josh is excellent at making me feel beautiful, but when I start dropping hints for a particular compliment I think I need, he pulls back. Contrary to what I  want him to say, he says "You know, that will never really make you happy." Which in the moment is frustrating, BUT IT'S TRUE. 

What is even more frustrating is when you feel insecure, you are doubting yourself, and by default, doubting God. Oops!

Now I would dare to say the the enemy, satan, has something to do with my personal anguish in this area, but honestly, he doesn't deserve the credit. I am to blame for this one. Some time ago I decided to put my security in something that wouldn't last. Something other than my Savior, Jesus Christ, and now I'm paying for it.

I have begun to notice my insecurity when it comes on. As soon as one of those crazy thoughts cross my mind, I go on the offensive. Straight to my bible. Straight to my worship songs. I heard a woman on the radio say "When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and start swinging." Not that long ago, I was at the end of my rope. I was feeling so insecure that I had to go into the bathroom and pull out my smart phone to search for verses about security. Here is what I turned up:

"He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber" Psalm 121:3 NIV

Thank you Lord that I cannot fail without you. I love you Daddy, I'm so blessed that you love me so much you don't even sleep, you are always there with me, holding my hand.

Psalm 139 ESV  I read this and pray it to Him. 

It has made a tremendous impact. We can conquer our worst enemy. We have completeness in Christ. He will not let us stumble! 

Tear down your false securities in Jesus name. Paul said that he counted all as loss, except for his devotion to Christ. Claim your true security in the only one who will never fail you. Jesus Christ.

Lord, I'm sorry that I believed that anything other than you could secure me. I turn away from that Father. I want to live for you, and not the approval of others or even myself. I will not compare myself to anything but what you say I am in your word. I love you Jesus. Amen